Peer Pressure

It is good to be part of a group but buckling under peer pressure is certainly detrimental to your growth in the long run

Peer pressure is the influence, often exerted very imperceptibly, on your choices regarding food, values, clothing, attitude and behaviour, by your peers.

There are many forms of peer pressure. Buying a car, getting a girlfriend, marrying, getting the latest phone, etc are decisions taken in life which might be guided by ‘I need to get it because my friends got one’ logic.

The Symptoms

It may be hard to recognise the symptoms. These are not really your regular ‘Should I tell my dad I want to be a chess player and not a doctor?’ type of doubts. We are talking here of a slightly different set of questions. Should I skip English to go chat up with the girls? Should I take a drag of that cigarette Sourav has been offering for the past two weeks? Should I go to that party without telling my parents? Because, everyone around seems to be doing it! Why not me?  Does this rhetoric shoot across your mind from time to time?

The reasons behind you finding it really hard to ignore these distractions at school are simple. The following are the common causes for students succumbing to peer pressure

• Desire to fit in.
• Low self esteem.
• Close friend is a bully.
• Low academic performance or disinterest in studies.
• Family bonds are not strong.
• A desire to experiment.
• Hanging out with the backbenchers is ‘cool’.

The reasons for slipping into a disastrous state of affairs could be very ridiculous. It could be that you simply watched ‘Basketball Diaries’ and thought Leo DiCaprio was your virtual soul mate. You start understanding his pain and the need for the dope, the cigarette and the rest.  You could be forced to have a girlfriend/boyfriend as all your peers are committed. The list is endless.

What is worrying is that traits picked up at an early stage in life, if nurtured, become integral to the person’s life and its course. School children succumbing to peer pressure evince characteristics such as eagerness to please or the inability to say ‘no’, which may remain with them if not treated properly. Such qualities could very well become actual hindrances to the growth of your life and personality at a later stage.

Put up a brave front: If you find yourself in such a quagmire, it is better to do a rethink and set your priorities right. The following steps will help you successfully duck the peer pressure:

1. Think through your values – Know where you stand on issues such as sex, drugs, smoking and education. Prioritise your goals in life and stand by your choices. If you don’t want to be an average student or a flunky, then having well thought out reasons for avoiding such temptations or norms of your peer group is essential.
2. Be assertive – Learn to say no to people. Will power and strength of character are the ‘coolest’ attributes to possess.
3. Be positive – Be positive about who you are, your strengths, your looks and your brains.
4. Know your ‘real’ friends – Saying no becomes easier if you have someone around you who can resist temptation as well. You feel confident in the company of a person who backs you.
5. Hang out with the smart guys – Make friends with people who have an aim in life and are focused on what’s going on in school or in the world. Join them for swimming, sports or study sessions.
6. Show the door to the Bully-- Maintain a safe distance from people who egg on you to skip classes or incite you to indulge in unacceptable practices. It’s not like you’ll betray a friend because someone who does not have your best interests in mind is not really your pal anyway.
7. Seek help-- If you are unable to help yourself then consult your seniors or even parents. Don’t feel guilty. Most often, an elder definitely can assist you in solving your teenage problems.